It’s a Struggle to Even Get Out of Bed

I am 30 years old, and I should be 18 weeks along in a pregnancy that took 3 years to get.

At 10 weeks, my life and world changed forever. I am a shell of the person I was 3 months ago. Two days before my step daughter’s birthday, we lost our baby. I am crushed and at this point not sure that I’m ever going to be okay.

It’s a struggle every day to even get out of bed.

I’m so angry and heartbroken. I have a couple girlfriends who are expecting, who are also only a few weeks ahead of where I would be, and I am having an extremely hard time being happy for them. I envy that they get to meet their little girls, for I never will.

I won’t even get to see my baby’s smile, or comfort them when they cry, or put a band-aid on a boo-boo. I have a hard time opening up about this, I figure if I don’t talk about it, I won’t break even more.

It’s truly the hardest thing I’ve ever been through,  and I’m lost. How do you put yourself back together after such a painful loss?

— Meagan

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