Is It Possible to Enjoy Pregnancy Again After Loss?

Is It Possible to Enjoy Pregnancy Again After Loss?

You’ve lost a baby either through stillbirth or miscarriage and the thought of moving on is gut wrenching. I’m truly sorry for your loss. But there’s hope should you choose to move forward with another attempt at pregnancy.  If you’re fortunate enough to find yourself holding another positive pregnancy test, congrats and don’t panic.  The feelings of dread and excitement are normal.  Since I lived through a healthy pregnancy after loss, I believe it’s possible to enjoy pregnancy again.

It goes without saying that a pregnancy after loss can cause a lot of anxiety and “what-ifs”.  I found it best to be up front with my doctor about my concerns and fears.  I knew my feelings were a tad irrational at times but I accepted I had them, talked them out and made a checklist to combat the fears. Sometimes it meant requesting an additional ultrasound or hearing the baby’s heartbeat on the doppler more often. Other times I needed to remind myself that I passed certain “check points” and my baby was still healthy.  Having a compassionate, understanding doctor helps tremendously. If your doctor isn’t addressing your mental health while you navigate a pregnancy after a loss then it’s time to find a doctor who will address all of your needs.

I embraced every symptom and milestone, especially through the first trimester. Although morning sickness doesn’t always mean a healthy pregnancy it’s certainly a reminder that your hormones are increasing and supporting your pregnancy. I dreaded feeling so awful while caring for another child, but I knew that my body was doing what it should be doing. When I moved passed the gross feeling of all day nausea I looked forward to the  popping feeling of tiny little kicks.  I held on to all positive news from each appointment and looked forward to my growing baby and belly.

I found support in friends and my husband.  They were my cheering squad through the rough first trimester and exciting third trimester.  They checked in on me throughout my pregnancy and waited happily for any news I wanted to share.  When I shared a concern or worry they were there to listen and support me often through fun distractions or a night out.

My husband and I prayed, a lot. If you live a faith based life perhaps this will speak to you too. We prayed with friends, at church and every evening with our older child. We thanked God for a healthy pregnancy, answering our prayers for a pregnancy after losing a baby and prayed we’d continue to have a healthy baby.  We believe in the power of prayer and I believe our baby was an answer to months of prayers.

The ultimate enjoyment is meeting that beautiful, healthy baby after a long nine months. While delivery may not always be easy all those fears and worry wash away the minute your baby is placed in your arms.  It is possible to enjoy a pregnancy after losing a precious baby–don’t let the fear consume you.

Photo credit: adapted from Nomadic Lass | Flickr

What tips do you have for surviving and enjoying pregnancy after loss?

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