I Feel Like No One Understands

I’ve just experienced my first miscarriage last Saturday. I went to the ER with pressure, bloating, and nine weeks pregnant. I left grief stricken and no baby.

This was my very first pregnancy with my husband of five years — we were excited.  My sister-in-law and cousins were all pregnant. I was happy to know my child would have lots of cousins to play with, but this dream was shattered.

My heart broken.

My husband just besides himself.

Everyone says I’m handling it really well. I mean I don’t know any other way to. I’ve been doing okay. Not really sleeping. My pregnancy ended up being a blighted ovum. I went into emergency surgery thinking I had an ectopic pregnancy. So many emotions I’ve been through this week. I’m still bleeding and cramping. No clothes fit and I don’t want to put my maternity clothes back on. Everyone says, “at least there wasn’t a baby“.

I feel like no one understands.

Even my mom had a miscarriage, but I feel like she still doesn’t understand. I’m sucking up my feelings this weekend to celebrate Mother’s Day. My mom didn’t understand when I said I was unsure if I wanted to do anything Sunday.

I’m just confused.

Everyone is acting like nothing happened and I’m just okay and just move on. My husband is amazing — he took off work to be with me.  I know he is hurting too. I know time will heal, but right now I’m still hurting.

— Natalia

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