What dreams may come…

I’ve read that after the loss of a baby its not unusual to dream of the baby or hear it crying. I feel that I should warn you that I do believe that dreams can give us info and at times we can communicate with our loved ones through dreams. I could recount several “strange” occurrences while awake, as well as many examples of dreams that foretold something that was coming up.

I know, you’re probably reading this thinking “Oh pulheeez!”, but I know this works for me. My mom and grandmother also “dreamt” and the same symbols work for all three of us. For example, when I dream of shoes, that I’m buying or shopping for shoes, or someone keeps telling me that I need shoes in a dream, I know that I will travel and often its a last minute international trip that I was not expecting. If I actually see black shoes, there will be a funeral of someone we know. This has been going on my entire life. After my dad died, I didn’t dream of him no matter how much I wanted to – I should also disclose that after my parents divorce when I was a year old, I only saw my dad a handful of times so we weren’t close. Things would have been very different I’m sure if he had been able to overcome his alcoholism, but despite multiple tries at rehab he just couldn’t defeat the disease. Anyway, I do dream of my dad, not often, maybe once every 2-3 years and its always such a happy dream to see him and he often has a message for me about what is going on in my life. For example, I dreamt of him with his younger brother, my uncle, just after my uncle’s death – I saw the two of them in white robes surrounded by light and happiness and they made me understand that they were together and they were ok.

So you can imagine my surprise that I never dream of our angel. Each night before I get into bed I pray for a dream of our baby…and nothing. I’ve never had any baby-related dreams until this week. I have dreamt over the last few months that sometimes I’m still pregnant or that I have a huge baby belly, but never a baby. This week, I dreamt of twins. I never actually saw them. My “husband”, as this guy didn’t look like Freddie but I knew that it was Freddie, was taking care of the newborn bundles. I saw him carrying a blanket with presumably the baby inside. It was such a warm and fuzzy dream. Freddie kept assuring me that he was on top of taking care of the twins and I could stay in bed, and I kept saying that he needed help. Finally, Freddie fell asleep beside me with the swaddled baby between us and the other baby in the crib in the next room. I started laughing as Freddie was messing up – I noticed that he melted a plastic container while trying to warm up milk for the kids. I suddenly heard the other baby crying in the other room and I woke up – the first thought that came to my mind was that “I guess that’s what it sounds like to have a baby in the house”.

It was such a happy and comforting dream…I pray it comes true!

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