Try and try again!

This is the 2nd part of my story that I am sharing with you all. This was originally posted on my blog in February 2011.

They say that it happens to 1 in 4 pregnancies. 25% of women will miscarry.

I am one of those who make up that statistic and it is one that does not make me happy. I can think of many other statistics that I would prefer to be a part of.

When I had my first miscarriage I was given my options and they were explained to me in full detail and I decided to go fast, painless, and simple. I chose the D & C. I didn’t want to go through the actual miscarriage. I wanted to go to sleep and then wake with it all done and over with.

My decision didn’t make it any easier though and there was nothing that could be said to make things better.

I think that one of the worst things that we had to do was explain it to our girls. I mean what do you say to them, how do you explain it so they understand, and have a way to deal with it. I couldn’t be the one that was there for them because I was barely holding it together myself.

Time passed and the wound began to heal.

We decided that we wanted to try again and like before we quickly got pregnant. I was scared. I worried constantly. Because of the previous miscarriage my doctor got me in quickly and was able to schedule me for an ultrasound and bloodwork right away.

Everything with my bloodwork was great and the early ultrasound looked really good. I started to feel better about everything and started looking forward to everything.

I believe that I was around 6 weeks and had to go in again for another ultra sound and found out that I was going to miscarry again. My heart sank.

Why was this happening to me again, had I done something wrong, was it my age? There had to be something. A reason. But what.

It was different this time though because no baby was actually there. A blighted ovum. You become pregnant but a baby never actually forms and grows.

I tried to tell myself that it was alright because there wasn’t actually a baby this time. I tried to convince myself that it was nothing.

I was wrong and it wasn’t any better than the last time. It was just as bad. But worse because I decided to let it pass naturally instead of doing the surgery again. Let me tell you that this was not a good decision.

I’ll spare you the details, but it was something that I never want to do again and would not wish it on my worst enemy. It was just like going through labor.

I wanted answers at this point. I needed them because as far as I could tell there was no reason for this to be happening. I already had three healthy pregnancies. My doctor told me that there was no reason to do testing at this point and that we should try again and then if that did not work then he would send me to a specialist.

I was shocked. I wanted answers now. I didn’t want to try again only to suffer through another miscarriage.

He told me third time is a charm. I thought whatever.

He was right. I became pregnant and this time everything went perfectly and I delivered a healthy, happy baby boy.

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  1. I had an ectopic pregnancy and 2 miscarriages between my first daughter and my second. No one knew why this happened, and because it is so common (way more common than you realise until you have one) the medical profession seem quite blaze about it (the miscarriages, not with the ectopic, they were very proactive with that), and yet you are grieving for your loss and what could have been, what won’t have been. I would have liked 3 children, and if this hadn’t happened I probably would have, but once this happens to you, it makes you immensely grateful for what you do have. I thank my lucky stars daily for my two girls, and have a proper twinge of sadness for anyone who has to go through this type of loss. Nice post xxx

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Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

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