Three Years Ago Today

Three years ago today I took a pregnancy test.

Positive. and full of hope.

Three years ago was the beginning of my bond with Triton.

Today is not easy for me.

These next 9 weeks will not be easy for me.

14 weeks was not enough time.


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Devan McGuinness

is the founder and executive director of the award-winning resource Unspoken Grief .

  1. Hugs to you. It’s not easy! I’ll never forget my miscarriage. Sat in emerge when the doc looked at me with a blank face and said, your abortion is complete! I had no words.. Isn’t abortion something you choose?

  2. Interesting point you brought up about abortions. It has always bothered me when different doctors referred to my miscarriages as spontaneous abortions. I know it’s medical terminology, I understand the definition. But each and every time I see my medical charts, it sends shivers down my spine.

    5 live births
    5 spontaneous abortions

    I didn’t choose that.

    1. I know very much how you feel Krista! I was always embarrassed when a doctor would ask how many pregnancies ive had… 13 with only 3 live full term births. On more then one occasion the doctor assumed each of my 10 losses were due to elective abortions.

  3. Devan, Triton’s name will be on my heart and mind as I pray for you during the next few weeks. How’s the hibiscus tree doing? Showing signs of new growth?

    1. Thank you Krista! The tree is not doing so well – & unfortunately there’s not much that can be done until the weather gets better here & we can put it outside. There has been a lot of debates on perhaps choosing another memorial tree – the debate is still going – lots of back & forths.

  4. It’s amazing how much our children have changed our lives in such a short period of time!!
    Sending you lots of hugs!!!

    Give the hibiscus tree a chance, you might be surprised. I also have one and as long as I water it weekly, fertilize in spring, its lasted our cold winters indoors for 3 years now. A strange thing did happen – it had finished blooming and due to the summer storms which kept knocking it off the deck we brought it indoors. Within 2 days of the death of our angel, there appeared ONE solitary huge flower – that was the last flower of the season.

    1. Thank you Joanna!

      We’ve had the hibiscus for almost 3 years now & it has been doing well. My youngest child a week ago or so tore all the leaves & branches off it. Its just a stem now. Not giving up hope but i just so did not need this right now you know.

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About Unspoken Grief

Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

©Unspoken Grief 2017; Devan McGuinness


Unspoken Grief exists to provide peer-to-peer support and resources. The information on this site is intended only for advocacy and educational purposes. It's not intended to give medical advice, to diagnose or to offer treatment for any medical or psychological conditions. Please consult your own health care provider for your own specific situation and needs.