This Was Something I Could Not Fix

helpless

I am the mother of 3 healthy boys.

My oldest who is now 23 is married, and has a 3 year old son.

When we found out that his wife was pregnant again this time with a girl, I was so excited. I never had a daughter and now this was my time to buy dresses and cute girl clothes.

Then suddenly, during her 23rd week, the baby died. She still had to deliver our Avery Rose.

After the delivery, they left Avery Rose with us in the room for almost 24 hours. I do not ever remember feeling this kind of pain and sorrow. The fact that I was holding this 1 pound 12 inch long little girl in my arms knowing I was not able to watch her grow just killed me. What hurt even more was watching my son hold her and sob uncontrollably.

I couldn’t help him — this was something i could not fix.

The following week, i spent the weekend with them and they both seemed to be doing OK. Two weeks later, my son had gone back to work, but his wife is not doing well. I am so worried about all of them. She doesn’t want to talk to anyone, even to her own mother.

I don’t know what to do for her now. I am just praying that she can get through this.

— Patty

Photo credit: adapted from ale_subs | Flickr

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Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

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