This Post Is My Way of Celebrating Them

I lost my identical twin boys in November of 2010 to Twin to Twin Transfusion. Today would have been their first birthday (based on their due date).

Though I have missed them every single day since I lost them, my heart hurts more than normal today. I think about what kind of party they would have had. What milestones they would have reached by now.Would they have had blonde curly hair like my husband did or my dimples?

I want to hear their giggles and cries. I want so badly to bear hug them as I plant kisses all over their faces.

Over the past couple months I have been receiving magazines in the mail about planning their first birthday, each one serving as a reminder of the celebration that would never be.

However, I do want to celebrate them.

It makes my heart happy to talk about them but I find that when I do, it makes people feel uncomfortable.  So this post is my way of celebrating them…

Luke and Cody, I miss you so much and love you so much more than that. One day we will celebrate together and when we do, we will make up for all the missed hugs and kisses…and time. We will have forever!   Love, Mommy

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About Unspoken Grief

Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

©Unspoken Grief 2017; Devan McGuinness


Unspoken Grief exists to provide peer-to-peer support and resources. The information on this site is intended only for advocacy and educational purposes. It's not intended to give medical advice, to diagnose or to offer treatment for any medical or psychological conditions. Please consult your own health care provider for your own specific situation and needs.