The Thought Never Even Crossed My Mind

I had my LMC on 12/17/12. I knew I ovulated on the 28th or 30th of December. Got the first faint positive on a Wonfo test strip on 1/12/13. I got a positive on a FRER on 1/14/13 and a positive ClearBlue digital on 1/15/13.

I was officially pregnant! I was so happy, laughing and jumping up and down.

I started to bleed on 1/19/13 and went to the ER. They ran my blood work and my levels came back 18 hCG. They told me I am having a miscarriage. I didn’t want to believe it. I had blood work done again, hCG 27; blood work hCG 44; I should have been in the 100’s or 1,000’s by now. I think it’s important to share my numbers with you because these numbers are NOT normal.

I went back to the ER 1/26/13 because I was so scared of ectopic pregnancy. Blood work came back 93 hCG and ultrasound showed nothing in tubes, but was still very early to still detected. They did see something starting to form in my uterus. That was a small spark of hope.

I did not go back in like I should have to do more blood work. I was so tired of going to the lab and so stressed about losing my baby. I just wanted to relax and have my life back.

Started very heavy bleeding on 2/7/13 like the heaviest menstrual period I’ve ever had and they have always been light and for about three days max. Heaving bleeding went on for a week and I had to go back for blood work out of absolute fear. hCG levels went from last blood work 35 to a 77 and they told me I needed the Methotrexate shot to help my body dissolve the tissue left in my body or take care of the early ectopic pregnancy in my tube. I was surprisingly strong and very calm about it. My husband came home early from work to take me to the Dr. I’m so glad he did that. The shot was easy, just a pinch in my behind, and my Dr. came in to talk with me.

Apparently miscarriage is very common, but let me tell you, when I got those little pink lines on my test, a miscarriage never even crossed my mind. I’m having a baby everyone! My husband actually told me not to celebrate just yet and that the next three months were going to be tough. How did he know? I don’t know. But, he was right.

I’m glad I told a few girlfriends and my family I was pregnant so early because after all of this, the support was needed to stay strong and get through it. I’m honored to share my story with all of you because I want women out there to know that it’s not your fault, there was nothing you could have done, and you need to get healthy so you can try again. Think positive vibes for you and your baby, stay as healthy as possible and keep working towards your personal goals (being successful) and your family will come at the right time. I know you can do it and I hope to get pregnant again very, very soon.

— Cerra

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Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

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