The Heartbreak Makes Me More Determined

The Heartbreak Makes Me More Determined

We started trying for children thinking we would fall pregnant easily.

A increasingly frustrating year later,  I started feeling unwell. HCG hormones weren’t rising and a week later, I lost our first baby.

Six months later, the words that will never leave me are “there is no heartbeat”. Those words destroyed our hopes, our dreams and future. We were 9 weeks, but the baby measured 7.5. Our grieving was raw and fresh — but we finally got answers. I had a chromosome abnormality called a balanced translocation.

IVF with genetic testing was one of our options and we plunged deep into the lengthy and expensive process. Then, a miracle happened before we could start — double pink lines.

Our daughter is a little miracle. We couldn’t imagine life without her. We have so much love to give, we desperately want more children.

After a family holiday, we got the double pink lines again. Anxious and scared, we waited patiently, praying and hoping our little cherub would survive. Two weeks ago, I started spotting. A week ago I started bleeding and three days ago I started passing clots.

We lost our baby.

Balanced translocation will NOT dictate our future. The heartbreak and pain of each loss only makes us more determined to finish our family. We will succeed and we will have more children!

— Anonymous

Photo credit: adapted from  NJ.. | Flickr

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