The Empty Feelings Set In

empty

Last year, I found out I was pregnant and my boyfriend’s ex was pregnant was too.

I had 3 miscarriages before so the worry was still there — but was still excited. I was about to reach my 12 week mark and started to get pain.

I couldn’t believe it was going to happen again. Then, I was spotting so I went to the hospital.

They couldn’t tell me anything and suggested to come back the next day. Went home and went to bed hoping for the best. The next morning went to the bathroom and crying in pain as it left my body. I couldn’t stop crying and felt so empty. I lost a lot of blood and got rushed to the hospital. Had surgery and woke up in some pain.

I tried to push and tried to show it didn’t effect me. I was told, “why worry about the one that I lost when I had amazing kids at home.” It helped a little, but then the empty feelings set in.

I blamed my body and myself for why I lost the baby and then started wondering why I lost mine and my boyfriend’s ex got to keep hers. It took me a while to get over it. Not fully there but I still want to try and I have hope,  plus love on my side so I will not give up.

— Anonymous

Photo credit: adapted from @Doug88888 | Flickr

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