The Club That No One Wants To Join

I have found myself a part of a very exclusive club. It’s a secret club that you only find out about once you’re invited to join. The price of membership is very high and there are no refunds. Once you become a member, you are a member for life. No matter where you go or what you do, you will always belong to this club. It is an all-inclusive group of men and women from around the world. This club does not discriminate against anyone for any reason. It is one of the most diverse clubs around. Equal opportunity reigns free here.

What is this fabulous club, you ask? What is the price of membership? How did you hear about it? How do I sign up?

The answer is this…

The club goes by many different names but I call it the Baby Loss Mom’s Club. The price of membership is the life of your child. No one tells you about it in advance, it’s a very secretive society. But when your baby dies you gain instant membership.

It’s the club that no one wants to join – and I’m a member.

If you are reading this then it’s highly likely that you are a member too. If this is the case then I am very sorry.

The only good thing about being in the club is that it is filled with amazing people who support each other. When the rest of the world is busy moving on and not wanting to talk about our loss anymore, our fellow members are still there. They grieve along side us. They get us. They are us.

So thank you to all my fellow BLM’s who have been there for me during my journey through grief. I don’t think I could do this without you. I only wish I could have met you through a different club, like maybe a wine tasting club, or a travel club. I wish that our children could have met each other and played together here on earth and not in some other place like heaven, or an alternate universe, or another dimension.

I wish we all weren’t members of this club. The club that no one wants to join.

Originally posted at my blog

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Finding My New Normal

Originally from California, I now live in London with my husband. We have had a great life with lots of adventures, love & fun. On August 13, 2010 our lives were shattered when we lost our son at 36 weeks pregnant. After struggling with infertility for many years, we thought we were finally going to have our miracle baby. Sadly, this is not what happened & I struggle every day to make sense of it all. But I am determined to get my life back. Not my old life of course, but a new life -a new normal. I have no idea how I am going to find it yet but I just know I will.

  1. It is like a secret club, isn’t it? Only those in it, understand it, and those on the outside are just so clueless. Sometimes I think it would be useful if we had badges or something. Half the time, we don’t even know who the members are, and man, sometimes it would be so useful to see the others who suffers as we do, who know what it’s like and be able to connect with them. So thankful for this site.

  2. I first read your post back in March, but it’s taken me this long to be able to write back. I know I’m not the only one who would give anything or do anything to be able to cancel my membership.

  3. I hate this club….I really do, and I didn’t ask to be a member, none of us do. My beautiful Lilliana Francesca was born sleeping on 12/15/12…I’m glad to have just found this website. I need support and lots of it…..xoxo hugs to all

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About Unspoken Grief

Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

©Unspoken Grief 2017; Devan McGuinness


Unspoken Grief exists to provide peer-to-peer support and resources. The information on this site is intended only for advocacy and educational purposes. It's not intended to give medical advice, to diagnose or to offer treatment for any medical or psychological conditions. Please consult your own health care provider for your own specific situation and needs.