Real Advice: How Do I Honor My Child?

Real advice is where we ask you, the community what helped in real life. Your advice and tips instead of the “expert” opinions from someone who may not have had to live through it. We pose a question on our Facebook page and look to you to help those looking for real how-to advice. 

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“There have been a lot of questions recently on how to honor your child(ren) who are no longer here. What are your tips/advice for ways to honor everyday, on special dates, in your community, etc?” — Facebook

I got a tattoo inspired by Emily Dickinson’s poem “Hope”. (the first stanza reads: Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all). For me it was fitting and the perfect way to honor and always carry her memory with me.  – Vicki

Make a small momento. I made a bracelet. I wear it when I want support. Use beads and gems that symbolize what you feel you need most…love, faith, release of emotions, hope…and I added a bell. I love the added sound, helps me stay conscious of the moment and of the reality that we can give ourselves the support and love we need. – Aubrey

 I have a shelf with my daughter’s picture, flowers, candles, and pretty rocks. I light her candles when I want to think about her.  – Jennifer

 I purchased a Jizo pendant with the ruby birthstone of our baby which I wear as a daily reminder. On the day of the due date, I planted a Rose of Sharon shrub that blooms in July, the would’ve been birth month, which is protected by a garden Jizo statue. I also wrote a letter to our unborn child and buried it by the shrub. It proved to be very therapeutic and healing process for me.– Susanne

Other ideas for honoring your child lost via miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal loss:

  • hold a memorial service
  • send off floating lanterns
  • create a memorial garden
  • keep a journal
  • donate to a local charity in your child’s name

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Devan McGuinness

is the founder and executive director of the award-winning resource Unspoken Grief .

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