My friend is pregnant…and I’m NOT!

I knew this day was coming.
I knew I’d be here at some point.
I knew that I’d have to face this.
I just didn’t expect it to be today.

One of my best friends told me that she was pregnant.
I’m thrilled for her – I truly am.
No one deserves this more than her, not even me.
She’s suffered, much more than I have.
She’s lost, then gave birth, then lost and lost again.
Three angels, one baby and now a pregnancy.

I don’t know what it’s like to be expecting FIVE times, scared each time.
I don’t even know what it’s like to be pregnant twice.
She has no trouble getting pregnant, just keeping her babies.
I seem to have trouble with BOTH.

I’m thrilled for her – I truly am,
But I’m a little jealous and a little scared to meet her.
I’m thrilled for her – but I can’t help wish it was ME!

She knows what I’m going through,
but I don’t know what she’s dealing with, not exactly.
I hope that I can be a source of support for her,
I also hope that she can still be mine.

I’m thrilled for her – I truly am,
but between the smiles, I feel sad.
Sad for what I don’t have,
Sad that I might never have it,
Sad that I can’t be completely happy for HER.

Originally posted on my own blog on Monday, February 28, 2011

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