My Angel Rihana

2 days before my 26th birthday, i took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive! i was ecstatic i had been trying for a long time to have a baby and after several (over 10) miscarriages and 2 tubals, i was hoping for the best. i got into my OB/GYN right away.. she did a initial u/s and found that the baby was in my cervix like it was supposed to be so she put me as high risk b/c of my history. i started having real bad morning sickness and could hardly eat. i kept talking to my ob and she said just eat what i could when i could. at 20 weeks we went in and had the u/s to find out what we were having. It was gonna be a girl!!! i was so happy. Me and my boyfriend started going through names to see what we would like. we kept coming back to Rihana. when i got through the 2nd trimester the Dr took me from high risk down to normal. We thought nothing could go wrong. On July 30th 2009 we went down for a routine visit at 32 weeks. Rihana had a habit of making it hard on the Dr to find the heart beat but that day she couldn’t get it at all… she said she wanted to be safe and do a u/s to see the baby.. she took me and my boyfriend (now husband) to the room for the u/s she put the goo on my belly and started to take a look at Rihana. My ob let us watch as she did the u/s, while we were watching i saw my baby girls heart… it wasn’t beating, the Dr left for a moment to get a couple other obs on the floor to come consult. it was then that she told us that she was gone… that was the lowest point in my life.. she wanted to admit me right then and there to the hospital to induce me.. i told her i had to go home first i could not tell my mom and my g-parents this news over the phone… Mt Husband drove me home. my family was sitting on the back porch when we got there, i didn’t have to say anything they could tell something was wrong by the way i was acting. We told them the devastating news and told them that i had to get back down there that they wanted to induce me as soon as possible. when i got admitted and hooked up to everything. they found out i had pre-eclampsia and my blood pressure was really worrying my Dr. they started the pitotcin around 5 pm. i started having contractions and they gave me the epidural.

At 12:30 am 7/31/09 they started prepping for me to push my baby girl out all i was thinking is what did i do wrong??? Why Me???? was she going to look normal??? i was so scared. Everyone left b/c things had slowed down and it didn’t seem like she wanted to come out.. My husband left to go get me a drink (that i wasn’t supposed to have) i gave him my phone to take, While he was gone i tried to use the Bedpan and then all of a sudden i knew what i was feeling wasn’t what i thought it was. i hit the button while calling my husband. i told him to get up to me NOW!!!! i felt between my legs and her head was almost halfway out. i hollered for the Nurses since they hadn’t come yet.. they come in take a look and call my Dr my husband called my family and they had just left the hospital after being told it wouldn’t be till the morning. they rushed down to the hospital but they wern’t quite quick enough My Dr just had time to get in the room and tell me to push. i pushed 3 times and i felt her slip out. they cut the cord and handed her to me… she was so perfect 2 lb 6 oz and 19″ long and she was sooo pink looking i made them give me a stethoscope so i could listen for myself.. then they took her from me just so they could finish taking care of me, they took lots of feet prints and hand prints. they asked us if we would like to bathe her and we jumped on it we gave our lil angel a bath and dressed her and we took 127 photos in the short 5 hours we got to hold her. i have 1 photo i will always treasure it has 4 generations of the women in my family including her. i have photos of everyone holding her.. the next few days are are a real haze. we buried our Rihana on a morning early in august of 09. the funeral amazed me. for someone no one had met she had a lot of people who loved her..

shortly after the funeral i went and saw my Dr for a follow up and she let me know the autopsy report. it showed that in the cord and the placenta there were hundreds of blood clots and the way she explained it to me my body slowly suffocated and starved my daughter inside me.. i went to a specialist and she looked over my history and asked what had happened to out stillborn. We told her everything we knew. she sent us out for a few then called us back in and told me i have Anti-Phospholipid antibody syndrome which simply put is a blood clot disorder.. the Dr explained to me that when i got pregnant again that i would have to give myself heparin 2x a day for the entire pregnancy..

2 months later in mid to late October i started thinking i was pregnant my thanksgiving i was certain. so i called my Dr the nurse i talked to was new and didn’t know my history and tried to schedule me for 12 weeks, i called back and left a message on her voice mail about my concerns and the next morning she called me to come in.. she did a u/s and the baby was in good position. she gave me several days worth of the heparin and had a nurse show me what to do. i religiously gave my self the shots 2x a day b/c of what had happened with Rihana, from 20 weeks on i had to get non stress tests to hear the baby and make sure everything was on track. as of week 30 u/s became a weekly thing (they had been doing them every 2 weeks before that) to check on the blood flow and make sure everything was going great.. my edd was 7/22/10 they decided to induce me 3 weeks early so that she didn’t get to big and cause pressure clots. so on 7/1/10 at 6 pm they induced me.. the labor went slow and i tried to hold off on the epidural but the pain got so constant i couldn’t rest and they were worried that i wouldn’t have the strength to push her out. They gave me the Epi and for the first time since the 1st i slept (this is early on the 3rd) when i woke up the epi had worn off and i was hurting bad and had the urge to push bad.. i got the nurse and she got the Dr and they rushed to prep for the delivery. the Dr got to the room and they had me start pushing 3-4 pushes later she came out screaming i started bawling not because i was sad but because i was so happy that i had a healthy baby girl after so many problems over the years. she was born 7/3/10 6 lb 2 oz 19 1/2 in long when i first saw her i thought i was seeing things because she looked exactly like her sister.

Now July is both a happy and a sad month for me I have my Rihana in heaven watching out for me and her daddy and sister. and Now Makenna who is now a 20 month old super active and Healthy toddler!

Thanks anyone who reads this. this wasn’t exactly easy for me to do but i felt i needed to pass my story on..


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