Multiple Miscarriages, Multiple Heartache

My name is Megan I am 35 years old and here is my story:

I married at 20 years old and became pregnant right away had my little girl at 21 with no problems — the perfect pregnancy despite my terrible morning sickness.

We waited until my daughter was 3 years old before we decided to try again. I became pregnant right away and was devastated when I lost that baby at 14 weeks. My pain was unimaginable — I never thought that would happen to me. All I could think was to get pregnant again as soon as possible to ease my pain from my first loss.

But I lost that baby at 15 weeks and again was heartbroken.

My doctor told me after that loss he thought when I got pregnant again I should be seen by a specialist. I did become pregnant again quickly, but again lost that baby as well at 15 weeks. That baby was a little boy, the first 2 we don’t know because they were assumed to be flukes and not checked.

After our 3rd loss we felt there was no hope for us to have another baby, but I felt in my heart I had to try one more time. So I became pregnant for the 5th time and was taking heparin just like my 4th pregnancy and was beyond joy to have my 2nd daughter. I felt I couldn’t ask for anything more!

After my 2nd daughter turned 3, we decided to try again and my doctors thought I should be able to have another baby no problem, but sadly since my second daughter I have endured 5 more 2nd trimester losses between 15-19 weeks and my heart is broken wide open!

All but my most recent loss were all boys leading my doctors to believe my problem was sex-linked. But May 29th I lost a precious little baby girl that I had believed with all my heart I would carry to term and now feel like I am back to square one.

Devastating to lose all my sweet baby boys but thought if I could get pregnant with a girl I would be able to hold a baby in my arms. With all my losses, I have never joined groups or sites because I felt my story was so sad and depressing no one would want to hear it and whenever I read others stories I felt my heart break all over again.

Since losing my last baby my thoughts have changed — I am desperate to connect with others who may have a similar history and have overcome or found an answer to their losses. Besides my precious girls I feel like I’m living with a permanent broken heart–  I ache so much for each of my precious babies and feel like I’m living a nightmare.

I hope with all my heart that doctors can find some answers a fear that torments me is my girls could have the same problem breaks my heart.

— Megan

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