Mother’s Day Is My Favorite, But It’s Tough

mothersday

Mother’s Day is my favorite day of the year. Better than Christmas, better than my Birthday.

Here is why: On this day, we celebrate and honor our own mothers, and all mothers who have guided and shaped our lives to this day. Strong, beautiful women who kissed the hurts and dried our tears, and laughed at and with us.

As a mother myself, I am filled with the purest, most complete love for my own perfect daughters. They bring my husband, Dave, and I unparalleled joy. These funny, awesome little creatures that I would move Heaven and Earth to keep happy and safe. I will strive every day, as I have done my best to for nearly ten years, to make them feel my love. Being a mom is my very favorite thing, so Mother’s Day is my very favorite day.

Mother’s Day is one of my toughest days.

There are many, but this one’s exceptional. On the same day that my heart is filled with love and pride, the broken pieces are sharp and raw. The inevitable tears come from extremes of happy and sad, joy and grief. Deeply blessed and immeasurably grateful for the children I get to treasure every minute, but punctuated with regret and sadness for our tiny Angel, born asleep, who we held for a fleeting moment.

See, It doesn’t matter how briefly we mother a child. I am her Mommy. And she is so loved. I am comforted in the knowledge that she knows perfect peace, but how I would love to watch her sleep, giggle at the bubbles in the bathtub, or run in the sunshine with flowers in her hair. She would be two now. And we will never hold the tiny souls that have gone to be with her since, but she will. And there is some measure of solace in the idea of my babies having each other in Heaven.

On Mother’s Day, I celebrate being the mother of both my earth and angel babies. I am proud and grateful to be your Mama.

To all the Mothers, of children young and old: I hope today is full of sweet smiles and happy moments that remind you how blessed you are to laugh, cry and love together through this life. Memories are made in the good and the tough times.

To all the Mothers who have babies they can only hold in their best dreams: You are not alone. I know you; I am you. There are so many of us. Maybe only a few people know your story. Maybe it’s too difficult to put into words, or too painful to talk about. I know today is bittersweet. I recognize that smile that doesn’t quite hide the heartache. But today is for you, too.

Today, you are honored for being a loving and devoted mother, even if it’s not the way you had desperately hoped. I know you have an endless list of unrealized dreams for a someday that didn’t come. But even in Heaven, our babies know their mothers, and can understand the depth of the love in your heart. For six weeks or sixty years, a mother is always a mother.

On my very favorite day, through happy-sad tears, I wish everyone happiness and hope, and a Beautiful Mother’s Day.

— Amy

Photo credit: adapted from VP photographie | Flickr

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