It’s a Struggle to Even Get Out of Bed

I am 30 years old, and I should be 18 weeks along in a pregnancy that took 3 years to get.

At 10 weeks, my life and world changed forever. I am a shell of the person I was 3 months ago. Two days before my step daughter’s birthday, we lost our baby. I am crushed and at this point not sure that I’m ever going to be okay.

It’s a struggle every day to even get out of bed.

I’m so angry and heartbroken. I have a couple girlfriends who are expecting, who are also only a few weeks ahead of where I would be, and I am having an extremely hard time being happy for them. I envy that they get to meet their little girls, for I never will.

I won’t even get to see my baby’s smile, or comfort them when they cry, or put a band-aid on a boo-boo. I have a hard time opening up about this, I figure if I don’t talk about it, I won’t break even more.

It’s truly the hardest thing I’ve ever been through,  and I’m lost. How do you put yourself back together after such a painful loss?

— Meagan

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About Unspoken Grief

Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

©Unspoken Grief 2017; Devan McGuinness

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Unspoken Grief exists to provide peer-to-peer support and resources. The information on this site is intended only for advocacy and educational purposes. It's not intended to give medical advice, to diagnose or to offer treatment for any medical or psychological conditions. Please consult your own health care provider for your own specific situation and needs.