I See Her When the Sun Rises in the Morning

i see her when the sun rises

Back in July 2014 my husband and I found out we were expecting.

He thought he knew that I was pregnant, but I wasn’t sure. When the stick flashed “pregnant” I instantly felt a rush of emotion and without hesitation started to cry. I was going to be a mommy.

That night I lay there thinking that in 9 short months I would be bringing a baby home. I never knew though that it would be in a way I least expected.

Today our baby girl came home to us. Having her close is comforting and I can feel her little spirit in our home. My heart aches that I will not hear her little screams in the middle of the night, or the pitter-patter of her feet when she gets older. If someone would have taken me aside eight months earlier and told me what the outcome would have been I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

I am so glad I was able to experience her little kicks, her hiccups and being able to listen to that strong heartbeat of hers at every doctor visit. More than anything, I’m glad I was able to see her little face and hold her closely to my heart to feel her little soul.

That beautiful soul, although not ready to be here on earth, made me a mommy.

In that short time she was here she made me understand what true love was. She now sits in a beautiful urn that I can look at whenever I want but I feel her close to me and I see her everywhere.

I see her in the flowers on my table, the sun when it rises in the morning, and more than anything in her daddy when he sleeps beside me.

My little angel is home now but the truth is she never left, she has always been here.

— Crystal, website

Photo credit: adapted from fotocarios | Flickr

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Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

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