I have never written about this before

I have never written about this before so here it goes.  I was just entering my 7th month of pregnancy.  I woke up in the morning and didn’t feel him kicking, called my girlfriend, who told me to go into my doctors office just to be on the safe side.  Called my mom, as I’m sure most of us do, she came and picked me up and off to the doctors we go.  They put me on the machine and couldn’t pick up a heartbeat.  Dr. said go across the street to the hospital, I want them to do a sonogram, he will meet me there.

Go over to hospital, having the sonogram, no one is saying a word.  Doctor comes in, does the sonogram over again and tells me….. “there isn’t a heartbeat, so sorry your baby boy is gone.”

I was devastated.

It took almost 3 years to get pregnant in the first place and to not have any reason as to why this happened, was incomprehensible.  I had to be induced and deliver him.

My baby boy Zachary John was born still.

That was 13 years ago this past June 26th and the pain does not go away.

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  1. Oh Gina, I too lost my beloved son before he had the chance to be born. I was a bit farther along than you, but the pain I feel is the same. My journey through grief is not nearly as long as yours,,, it’s been just over a year for me. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could say more but know that I cannot.

    Sending you love and support.

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Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

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