I Have Been Through Hell and Back

My story– please don’t judge.

I have been with my husband since December 2nd, 2006. We got married August, 12th, 2007 — I had just turned 18! I had my oldest son 5 weeks after I turned 18 — he was born at 24 weeks gestation. My poor baby weighed 1lb 6oz and he was in the hospital 6 months after he was born.  That time was horrible for us, we lived 2 hrs away we would go everyday after my husband would get home, I remember always getting calls saying I had to go to the hospital because my baby was not going to make it.

Within the first month of him being born, he had 5 surgeries — one of which could of been prevented. We couldn’t go for a week to see him — I called everyday all day. He had the same nurse every time I called and she would always tell me he was fine so I didn’t worry to much.

When we finally got to go, I noticed something wrong with his hand! I asked her what it was and she hadn’t see it, we talked with the doctor and he said his hand had been like that the whole week. I was heartbroken, angry and upset with myself. We found out the lady wouldn’t check up on him at all she would turn the lights off and not go in. We found out by another baby’s mom that was in the same room — she told us the nurse wouldn’t go in. My baby had a very hard time gaining weight — he still does to this day! He is 6 years old and just had another surgery, but overall I am blessed to have him here.

I also had a miscarriage of twin baby girls at 18 years old (12 weeks gestation.). At 19, I had a miscarriage of a baby boy(also 12 weeks, but he stopped growing at 8 weeks). At 20 years old, I had my hardest loss of all — I was 24 weeks pregnant (so far in all my pregnancies, I didn’t know I was pregnant.  I know a lot if you are probably saying “how did you not know you where pregnant that’s dumb etc”–  Well, I didn’t because since I was 12 years old,  I have not had a “regular” period. So I couldn’t say “oh well my period is late.” I have always been a big girl so I couldn’t say I was gaining weight I was young and dumb. In my family you don’t talk about birth ,being pregnant, let alone sex, I didn’t know what to expect).

His name is Christian whom I miss so much.

He weighed 1 pound 10 ounces —  he looked so much like his older brother. I remember it like it was yesterday, it was the fourth of July we where waiting for the fireworks to start I felt a bit tired so I went to the back of our truck and laid down. As soon as I did, I felt like a balloon exploded inside of me! I thought I had wet myself, but then I started to get really bad pain and I remembered from the other times. I yelled out to my husband and he came running. He saw I was all wet! He was kind of in shock and just staring I told him we needed to go to the hospital. He closed the back of the truck and started to drive to the hospital — I couldn’t move so yes, we drove for 5 minutes to the hospital with me in the back.

I remember the ER nurse asking my husband to park in the ER parking lot, but she then saw I was in the back. She asked if I had any bleeding or if it was just water. I said just water when they helped me out of the truck — we saw it was not water at all (this next part gets me upset all time time I think about it..!!). When the ER doctor came in, he did not do ANY tests he just saw the amount of blood and said I had a miscarriage. Well duh right,  but I asked if he was going to do an ultrasound and he said there was no need we all said OK and home I was sent ( I have documents of all this to for people that might think I’m making it up. We have had many lawyers and witnesses to what happened that day).

Well, on July 10th, I was at home with so much pain it was horrible I had my husband take me in to the ER. What happens next —  I wish it on no one. I was admitted into the ER at 11 am, but was NOT seen until 1pm. The doctor came in and said he was just going to give me some medication (this was the same doc from the fourth). I don’t know what made him change his mind, but he did an ultrasound in which his nurse went running out of the room freaking out! I didn’t find out until 1:15pm that I still had my baby boy inside of me alive!

Without water and feet first I was so beyond emotional I was in and out of consciousness. I was airlifted to the UW where they where monitoring me they asked if I wanted a c-section. I was terrified and said no I wish I had —  maybe my baby would be here with me. At 4 pm I was taken to the delivery room in which I was given me air with something to sleep me. Well, it was to much that they ended up stopping me heart — now it was life or death — save me or my baby.

They saved me and let my baby die!

I woke up HOURS later and a nurse was waiting for me she had told me what had happened and I went crazy. I couldn’t hold it in they had to give me medication to calm me. I didn’t get to see my baby until the next day.

My baby Christian: I remember your little hands, your purple feet from being crushed. I’m sorry my baby for what you went through. I wish I could take it back. Not a day goes by that I don’t see you in your brothers’ (sniff).

After my angel baby, I was sure I didn’t want anymore babies — I was so scared that all my pregnancies were going to be like that. But, at 21 years old, I had my middle baby — he is now 3 years old. We found out I was pregnant at 16 weeks gestation.  This pregnancy wasn’t easy, but I lived through it every week. Once a week, I had to get a hormone shot to keep him in.  I was on complete bed rest, I had high blood pressure so I had to get induced at 36 weeks.

My contractions were every painful, but I made it through — my husband always laughs when he remembers how I was I am allergic to almost every medicine they gave me — something that made me feel really good. I remember just being in the clouds ( asking for a little more).

Well, as soon as the nurse gave it to me — I decided I was going into labor. I couldn’t move my body, the nurses had to lift me and help me push. After almost 2 hours of labor, I had my handsome baby boy. Ok, I was happy with my 2 baby boys — I was good –no more babies for me.

Well guess what? At 24 year old,  I started to feel tired and I couldn’t really do much I thought I had a cold. I went to the doctor and did some blood work they made me do a pregnancy test. I was like “I don’t have to – I was “protected” no more baby’s pill shot and the butterfly. No way I was pregnant.” Well I took it anyway!

When the nurse came in all happy and congratulating me, I started crying like a baby. I was beyond scared — what was I going to do with 3 kids? My heart sank — the nurse said she thought I’d be happy. I told he my story and she understood.

We caught him at 6 weeks —  we got a head start. This pregnancy was way different — I had no high blood pressure, I was walking, working. I still had to get my hormone shot once a week, but It was worth it. After 30 minutes in labor, I had my beautiful baby boy whom is 10 months old now.

I have been through hell and back, but I have to thank god. Without him, I would be lost. I know that in some time I was upset and would say “why me”,  but I ask for forgiveness because it was part of his plan. I ask him to watch over my boys and my husband too because he has always been there with me. For sure no more babies now —  we are done — my tubes will be closed for good ( in total, I have 7 babies. 4 are my angel baby’s and 3 are here with me )

Reading back on this I say wow this might seem like a movie but it’s not it’s real and it happened to me.

— Anonymous

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