I Cried Tears Of Joy and Then It Was All Over

When I first found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend was the first person to know and then I sent out a mass text to all my friends. I waited to tell mom after my nephew’s birthday, then after it was over I pulled her aside and gave her a congrats on becoming a new grandparent card. She thought it was a joke until she saw me tear up saying “just so know this isn’t a joke” and of course she was happy and crying tears of joy.

Well, later that night around 3:30 in the morning, I started having cramping like 30 times worse than having menstrual cramps and I was bleeding BAD and HEAVY, so I went back to bed.

I woke up in the morning and something deep down told me something wasn’t right, so I call my mom and she urged me to go to the ER.  My best friend, mother (who met us there) and I went to the ER.  After being there for 6 hours and running test, ultrasounds, they said I had an early miscarriage and told me I was around 4 weeks and 4 days.

After hearing that kind of news, it was like someone was ripping my heart out. It’s been one month since I had my miscarriage and I’m not the same person anymore. My boyfriend and I stopped trying for at least a year so I can heal from this whole ordeal because nobody really knows what you’re going through unless they’ve been through it themselves.

— Amber

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  1. After years of infertility treatments, I finally became pregnant. 3 weeks later, on the day after christmas, I miscarried. 4 months later, I am about to start ivf again, for the last time, praying that I can get pregnant again, and I am so scared that it wont work, and even more scared that it will. God please spare me from that heartbreak again.

  2. I was using BC b/c my husband and I already have several kids including a 6 month old, but I found out I was pregnant anyways. Yesterday when I went to the doctor’s office to get it confirmed and get a referral to my OB, the pee test was negative so he sent me for a blood test. That came back negative too so now I get to wait for the bleeding to start. 🙁

    Hang in there.

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Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

©Unspoken Grief 2017; Devan McGuinness


Unspoken Grief exists to provide peer-to-peer support and resources. The information on this site is intended only for advocacy and educational purposes. It's not intended to give medical advice, to diagnose or to offer treatment for any medical or psychological conditions. Please consult your own health care provider for your own specific situation and needs.