I Cried Tears Of Joy and Then It Was All Over

When I first found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend was the first person to know and then I sent out a mass text to all my friends. I waited to tell mom after my nephew’s birthday, then after it was over I pulled her aside and gave her a congrats on becoming a new grandparent card. She thought it was a joke until she saw me tear up saying “just so know this isn’t a joke” and of course she was happy and crying tears of joy.

Well, later that night around 3:30 in the morning, I started having cramping like 30 times worse than having menstrual cramps and I was bleeding BAD and HEAVY, so I went back to bed.

I woke up in the morning and something deep down told me something wasn’t right, so I call my mom and she urged me to go to the ER.  My best friend, mother (who met us there) and I went to the ER.  After being there for 6 hours and running test, ultrasounds, they said I had an early miscarriage and told me I was around 4 weeks and 4 days.

After hearing that kind of news, it was like someone was ripping my heart out. It’s been one month since I had my miscarriage and I’m not the same person anymore. My boyfriend and I stopped trying for at least a year so I can heal from this whole ordeal because nobody really knows what you’re going through unless they’ve been through it themselves.

— Amber

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2 Comments
  1. After years of infertility treatments, I finally became pregnant. 3 weeks later, on the day after christmas, I miscarried. 4 months later, I am about to start ivf again, for the last time, praying that I can get pregnant again, and I am so scared that it wont work, and even more scared that it will. God please spare me from that heartbreak again.

  2. I was using BC b/c my husband and I already have several kids including a 6 month old, but I found out I was pregnant anyways. Yesterday when I went to the doctor’s office to get it confirmed and get a referral to my OB, the pee test was negative so he sent me for a blood test. That came back negative too so now I get to wait for the bleeding to start. 🙁

    Hang in there.

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Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

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