How Do I Answer The Question?

“I hate when people ask how many kids I have. Do I tell them four but three died during pregnancy. I don’t want them to feel sorry for me, but those are my kids and I love them just as much as my breathing boy.”

— Anonymous #868


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  1. In general I say the number of living children I have, which is 1. There are times when I give the hard and truthful answer of 3. I guess for me I base it on how I’m feeling that day or how I think the person will respond. Some days my heart is stronger than other days to answer it honestly. Depending on who is asking, sometimes I just don’t want them to know that information about it.

  2. I don’t know what the ‘right’ thing to do is, but I think you should answer the question in whatever way is best for you.

  3. I don’t answer with a number. After 5 miscarriages and 1 stillbirth, this is not an easy question. I just tell them the names and ages of my two living children. Sometimes I will briefly mention that we also have a daughter who was stillborn.

  4. My son died at 6 months old and I have so much trouble answering that question. I usually say I have a two year old and an angel baby that would be one but left at six months. When I have the strength. When I don’t I stumble between 1 and 2 and go with which ever falls out first. It is so uncomfortable and such a painful nearly daily reminder.

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