Has This Happened to Anyone Else?

I was ten weeks pregnant and had been having problems since the beginning.

My hormone levels were no where near as high as they should have been so my doctor, very nice lady, prepared me for possible ectopic pregnancy.

Then, I bled for four days straight. She prepared me for a miscarriage.

I had my blood drawn again and my numbers had still gone up. She knew how I felt about abortion so we decided to let my body handle everything. I was scheduled for my first ultrasound the next week.

That weekend, I had severe pain — so I went to the hospital. I had never met the OB doctor that was on call. He ordered an u/s and they found cysts in my Fallopian tubes and around my ovaries. They kept me over night due to the pain.

Next morning another ultrasound and they found fluid which they decided was blood in my pelvic area so the doctor wanted to do a laparoscopy and remove the cysts causing problems.

That was ALL he said he was doing.

I got out of surgery and he proceeded to tell me that he also decided to take a look at my baby and took it upon himself to do a d&c because he determined my baby was incompatible with life and just “not normal”.

Who the he** is he to decide what’s normal?  But those were his exact words, and all I feel is hatred to him. He took away my baby because it wasn’t “normal”.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? I need help. Depression has hit me hard over this.

— Anonymous

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  1. WOW. I can’t see how he had any right to do that. Even if the baby wasn’t going to make it, it’s not his call. You and your doctor had already decided to let things happen naturally. Just WOW. I’m so sorry this happened to you, wish I had some advice for you, but I don’t. 🙁
    I had a horrible experience with my first miscarriage, I didn’t know the doctors on call when I had to go in, and they were horribly mean to me for the 2.5 days I was in the hospital. Doctors need to learn to deal with mothers and miscarriage in a more appropriate manner.

  2. I would contact a lawyer. Have them go over any paperwork that you signed before the surgery. That is not okay that they made that decision for you. Explore your rights and don’t just take that.

  3. I’m so sorry for your loss. I think what he did was highly unethical and illegal. That was not his decision to make without your consent. I’m so sorry for your loss. I think that it would be completely in your right, when you are ready, to lodge a complaint with the hospital and the state medical board regarding his actions. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that he did that. I have heard stories from friends about Doctors taking action without their consent or even discussing it with them. Again, I am so sorry. I agree with the poster Anna above. Much more respect and teaching should be given to Doctors in how they should treat women dealing with miscarriage.

  4. Dear Anonymus
    Can I please urge you to make a formal complaint. As a doctor I can tell you what he did was against so many of the codes we work by. And then theres the laws he broke… Assault and battery for one. Please if you can find the strength do say something to stop him practicing in this manner ever again.
    Best wishes and so sorry for your loss hon.

  5. WHAT?!?!?!

    That was not his call to make. He shouldn’t have done that if your life wasn’t threatened. He should have closed you up and presented you with options. You might consider speaking to a lawyer.

    Beyond that, I am speechless. I am SO. UNBELIEVABLY. SORRY. that you have all of this on top of your agony. Thinking of you. A million internet hugs for you and much love and sympathetic sorrow.

  6. Many doctor’s believe they’re God. Many are just arrogant and pompous businessmen with no respect for Life. I had my own experience with doctor’s deciding the fate of my unborn baby when 3 doctors sat down the hallway drinking coffee while I lay on a trolley alone, listening to my unborn daughter die . The final hour of her acutely distressed heart beats were monitored with an electrode spike in her head until they stopped. I was 42 weeks pregnant and she was dying from hypoxia so that hour long delay took away her only chance of being born alive. In the months following her death, I was to learn that the 4 CTG’s I’d had done in previous six days before I went into labour, were all showing obvious signs there was a problem. BUT because the hospital were allowing unqualified nurses and nurses aids to attend and interpret the foetal heart monitoring, those abnormal CTG’s were ignored. The doctor’s chose not to try and save her, I imagine, to protect their own backsides from liability. A sick baby would have made them accountable for their actions where as a stillborn is deemed as ‘nothing’ in Australia and all maternity staff know it.
    I don’t know where you are from but in Australia a Lawyer is pointless as doctor’s in this country are rarely accountable for their actions.
    I don’t know how you can deal with your anger, I’ve spent years trying to deal with mine.
    I have total empathy and understand exactly how you feel.

  7. I am so sorry. That never should have happened. Please know that you are not alone in your sorrow.

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