Endless Pain

Last year in September I got pregnant for the first time in my life.

I was so very happy as I always wanted a baby and my husband is very fond of babies too..but my happiness lasted only for 2 and a half months.

I had spotting  and the doc recommended me to have a D&C.

I really missed being pregnant. I hide my pain inside me with a fake smile on my face and keep going on. Last July I found out I’m pregnant again.

I was thrilled, I cried the whole night with joy.

I was supposed to go for a scan in 1 week, but before that, one night I had stomach pain and could barely stand up and I was taken to the emergency room. The doctors found out I had a tubal pregnancy and it had bursted inside me. I nearly was dead as after reaching the hospital I stopped breathing and my pulse stopped, so doc had no hope

I was out of it and was in ICU for 5 days. I had go through a laparotomy and I’m still on  bed rest… docs said I was given 4 point of blood to my system. I was in a shock all this time so I didn’t feel that I lost my baby second time.

But 2 nights ago I started to get back all these memories back…now all i can do is cry. I even cant sleep. I don’t know what to 🙁

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Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

©Unspoken Grief 2017; Devan McGuinness


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