Dear Mama Whose Arms are Empty

Dear Mama Whose Arms are Empty

I know firsthand the pain that comes with losing a baby you can’t take home. I lost my daughter at 23 weeks 6 days. Below are the things that I know about miscarriage and stillbirth.

Dear mama whose arms are empty,

I know that you wake up every morning hoping the horrible thing that happened was just a bad dream. I know you still feel your baby move even though it’s been days, weeks or months since your baby filled your belly. I know that tears and thoughts of your baby keep you awake at night. I know you despise your body for failing you and your baby. I know you cringe when you hear whining about terrible pregnancies or cranky babies. I know you cry in the shower so no one will hear you. I know that you just want to hear someone say your baby’s name. I know that you hate yourself for the jealousy that consumes you when you hear of new healthy babies being born. I know that you just want to get pregnant again to make this pain go away. I know you never want to be pregnant again because you just couldn’t survive another loss.

I know.

I also know that soon you’ll fall asleep without tears. I know that you’ll find a special way to honour your baby’s memory. I know you’ll appreciate the short months you were able to carry your baby. I know someday you’ll have kind words and a warm hug to help another mama through this pain. I know you’ll show the people you meet on your journey the compassion you would have given your baby, after all they are someone’s baby too. I know you’ll laugh again without guilt. I know your broken heart will grow back together, it won’t be the same as before, maybe even a bit crooked, but it will be stronger than ever. 

I know that you are a mother, a mother who loves a baby she can’t hold.


A mama that knows.

Photo credit: adapted from Yashna M |Flickr

— Kristin, originally published on momstown Edmondon

Comments are moderated before appearing. Please note: your comment here may show up on your Facebook Feed.

Our Stories

Collection of Community Submitted Stories. Author of each story is displayed at the end of the post. Want to share your story? Submit yours here.

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

About Unspoken Grief

Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

©Unspoken Grief 2017; Devan McGuinness


Unspoken Grief exists to provide peer-to-peer support and resources. The information on this site is intended only for advocacy and educational purposes. It's not intended to give medical advice, to diagnose or to offer treatment for any medical or psychological conditions. Please consult your own health care provider for your own specific situation and needs.