Another Loss

We lost our seventh baby tonight.

We even made it to six weeks five days, longer than five of our previous losses.  We were so SURE that this one was going to work.  So positive, so hopeful.

I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be angry or sad or something else.  It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

Two of my friends (one of them my best friend) is pregnant right now.  We were supposed to have a combined prenatal visit next week.  I even found out I was pregnant on her birthday.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

This was supposed to be different.

But I guess you know what they say about best laid plans.

Now to figure out whether to keep going and risk this again or be done and never have another child.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

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heartsandhandss

I have a beautiful four year old little girl, and six angels in Heaven. I am a midwifery apprentice, and a doula for those going through the hell of miscarriages or stillbirth

4 Comments
  1. You’re right. It ISN’T supposed to be this way. That’s exactly how I feel. This last time, our 4th, we made it 10 weeks further than any previous loss. And while we were hesitant to be sure that this was going to work, our hopes were starting to climb, and then plummeted. So I say be angry. Be sad. Be whatever you feel. It isn’t supposed to be this way and nobody can tell you any differently.

  2. I agree…it isn’t supposed to be this way. You feel the way you want. No one can tell you how to feel that there are certain ways to feel at certain times. Cry, scream, yell….everyone deals differently. I am so sorry for your losses and you little angels. I also have an angel in heaven…our little boy Wyatt was born in 2007. Love & prayers to you and your family.

  3. I am SO sorry. So very, very sorry. It just doesn’t seem fair that a biological and natural process like pregnancy can be so hard to some women. I had my 4th just a few months ago and am still angry that it turned out that way. Lots of love being sent your way.

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Unspoken Grief is a non-profit website dedicated to creating awareness and resources for anyone touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

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